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Compassionate Repair

Compassionate Repair

Shajen Joy Aziz

Learning not to care about someone’s actions or lack of action toward yourself is never easy. Yet, the pathway to creating healthy boundaries is about self-care. Whenever you think about how or what they are not doing, take a moment and do something nice for yourself. You also want others to do these things for you, yet the journey begins with you. The more you are clear about what you will accept or not, the easier you generate your own life. A new way: one that is filled with love, reciprocity, and respect.

When respect isn’t present consistently, and the experiences leave you confused and empty, your responses will not be at their best. Know this isn’t part of you that is always seen; it is the part that is protecting you because all senses of esteem, boundaries, and who you once were have been stripped, so you feel as though your only choice – Fight, Flight, or Fawn (freeze). For most of us – the fight is the natural response. I urge you to breathe deeply and use your voice to be safe, powerful, and free.

Within reciprocity, intimacy, and love can begin to flourish, either again or anew. Reciprocity in relationships is about discussions and agreements on what relationships mean to you. What does love mean to you? Often, we engage in deep relationships with people who say they love us, and I wonder and am more curious about what that means. We are meaning making machines – what is normal to many may not be to all. As you begin to enter new relationships or are repairing the one you are in – have the hard conversations based on compassion, mutual respect, and well-being and what does love in relationships means, what reciprocity means, how we continue to love ourselves and others in the face of differences, disharmony, and bring it back to open dialogue and compassionate discussions leading to repair.

How to repair

Choose an agreed time, place, and agenda so no one feels like there will be surprises in the conversation. Be clear and compassionate in your communication, and try not to blame, judge, or make statements that cause harm to the relationship. This can be hard when triggered, so working on yourself is essential in this journey we call life. Personal responsibility and ongoing accountability are part of the repairing process when generating new outcomes in a relationship. Both parties must take personal accountability for actions and reactions and create an agreed-upon way to handle disagreements and upsets moving forward. Remember, not everyone will be perfect with this. In fact, this will take practice. The more you engage in this ritual with one another, the more you notice these times turn into special dates laced with intimate moments created by mutual respect and love.

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Personal Practice – What is The Gift: Everyone has a Gift to Give

Personal Practice – hat is The Gift: Everyone has a gift to give.

I believe we are on this life journey to learn and acquire new knowledge and ways to support us and the next phase of our evolution. Barbara De Angelis states, “We’re here to learn. There is a curriculum. We each have certain courses. You can figure out your courses if you look at the experiences in your life.” 

“Everything in life is a vehicle for your transformation – use it.” ~Ram Dass

Insight, intention, integrity, and involvement are some of the critical pieces to Discovering Your Gifts. Please pay special attention to those pieces of yourself which are emerging and awakening. What are the messages coming through you?

There are many ways to Discover Your Gift, and the following Personal Practice will bring you along that journey.

Personal Practice: 

This practice will support the reconditioning of your mind to tune in to your Gifts. 

With this exercise and all that follow, I encourage you to have the bravery to ask the questions you have always wanted to ask yourself and others and then ask the ones you never knew you had until now.

1. Write down the names of the eight most essential people in your life and describe what you think is most extraordinary about them.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. _________________________________________________________________

8. _________________________________________________________________

2. Now, ask the eight most important people in your life to tell you what your Gifts are, and write them down.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

3. Take time to reflect on what these folks tell you your Gifts are. Notice whether there is a common theme; write down your thoughts, feelings, downloads, and ah-ha moments.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

4. Now sit back, take a deep breath, and close your eyes; ASK YOURSELF without judgment: “What Gift inside of me wants to come out?” Allow all thoughts to be valid notice the ideas “downloading” and the feelings you have about those ideas let the most potent visions come to the top. Then open your eyes and write any thoughts, actions, and desires that come to mind. 

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

5. For the next few days, be aware of this practice. Notice in your daily life where recurring themes continue to emerge and where there are opportunities for your Gifts to be activated. When you see them write them down and visualize them, focus on what makes you happy, joyous, and inspired about implementing that Gift. 

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

Ode to Fonda Joy – My Mom

An Ode to My Mother, Fonda Joy 🤍
You left me with a love for this Earth.
A knowing of how to live simply and with grace.
An understanding that everything is connected.
You taught me about health and wellness.
About food, how it can be medicine or poison.
About tending the body the way one tends the land,
with care, intention, and respect.
You showed me how to tan leather.
How to hunt.
How to garden my own food.
How to tend the soil, make fire, and stay warm.
You taught me how to live in relationship
with the natural world, not above it.
Your time on this Earth was brief,
yet your teachings were vast and profound.
Filled with deep wisdom for living, for loving,
for honoring the flora and fauna that surround us,
and the intelligence of the Earth beneath our feet.
You taught me to honor the Mother.
The mother womb.
Mother Earth.
The mother goddess.
The feminine.

Fonda Joy Segal – My Mom

Sit with peace

Quietly…
peace finds me.

I sit.
I gaze.
I soften into nothingness.

Breathing in grace.
Breathing out effort.

In this stillness,
there is solitude without loneliness,
self-love without striving,
wisdom without words.

There is a quiet remembering
of love for humanity,
for this living, breathing planet,
for this moment, just as it is.

As peace settles within me,
joy rises effortlessly.

So I invite you now
find your peace.
Sit with it.
Let it hold you.

And Discover
as joy begins to unfold again.

Intention

1. Begin with Intention (5 minutes)

Before the world enters your energy field, you choose the frequency.

How:
Sit quietly, hand on heart, and ask yourself:
“What is the quality I want to embody today?”
Examples include joy, clarity, compassion, and courage.

Why it works:
Setting a conscious intention activates the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), priming your mind to see opportunities, solutions, and synchronicities that match your chosen focus. It literally filters your reality in a more empowering direction.


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2. Regulate Your Nervous System with Breath (2 to 3 minutes)

Your breath is your most accessible power tool.

How:
Practice a 4 count breath. Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4.
Do this three times throughout the day, in the morning, midday, and evening, or whenever you feel yourself speeding up or shutting down.

Why it works:
Conscious breathing increases oxygen saturation, stimulates the vagus nerve, lowers cortisol, and shifts the body from fight, flight, or freeze into calm, connection, and clarity. This single practice rewires your ability to respond rather than react.


—

3. End with Gratitude and Micro Wins (5 minutes)

Bookend your day by acknowledging what went right.

How:
Write or speak aloud:

Three things you are grateful for

One micro win, something you did well, followed through on, or showed up for

Why it works:
Gratitude boosts dopamine and serotonin, your natural happiness chemicals, while acknowledging wins strengthens self trust and identity. You train your brain to notice progress rather than lack, which builds long term resilience and joy.

As the holidays arrive and a new year approaches, this moment — today and always — is a perfect time to take stock of your intentions, your growth, your purpose, and the things that truly bring you joy.

Life is shaped by the choices we make and the people we welcome into our lives. Choices are powerful. Examine yours. Examine your why. And look forward to all that is waiting for you.

Now is the time to release the chatter of what others think you should do and step fully into who you are — into the passions that light you up, the dreams that inspire you, and the experiences that make you come alive.

When you choose joy, when you allow fun and fulfillment into your life, everything becomes more graceful. You become a magnet for what you desire — and for blessings greater than you can even imagine.

May you be deeply blessed today, and every day that follows.
May your heart feel full. May your path feel clear.
May joy lead the way into all your tomorrows.

The 8 Principles of Transformation

The 8 Principles of Transformation

By Shajen Joy Aziz, M.Ed., M.A.

1. Receptivity & Flexibility

Transformation begins with openness. The truth is, new possibilities are unfolding around us every day, yet we do not always notice them because we are not receptive. When you choose receptivity, you learn to listen to your soul, your inner Source, and allow insights to enter your heart and mind. In this openness, you invite miracles into your life.

2. Intention & Attention

Intention is a declaration, a conscious choice to live aligned with your deeper purpose. It is an act of will that frees you from limiting beliefs, habits, and patterns. When you set an intention, you define a new destination and begin to feel as though you have already arrived. Attention then becomes your guiding energy, keeping you present and aligned with your purpose.

3. Activation

Activation is where you bring your receptivity and intention to life. It requires you to engage actively in your personal growth aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your new purpose. Old patterns may surface, but here you learn to recondition them, choosing to move forward with focus and clarity toward your highest potential.

4. Infinite Feedback

The universe is constantly mirroring who you are being. Every choice, action, and thought sends ripples of energy into the world, and the feedback you receive reflects your vibration. By aligning your heart and mind with presence, you co-create with the universe in a continuous loop of energy and transformation.

5. Vibration

Your vibration, the energy you emit, shapes your entire life experience. When you choose joy, gratitude, and fulfillment, you raise your frequency and shift the reality around you. By tuning into higher vibrations, you improve your communication, express yourself with clarity, and radiate your authentic truth.

6. Adversity & Transformation

Adversity is not a barrier it is a doorway. Each challenge you face holds a hidden gift, waiting to be discovered. Transformation occurs when you respond with adaptability, curiosity, and courage. In doing so, you uncover freedom and strength in the very places you once felt broken.

7. Creating a Conscious & Compassionate World

Transformation becomes collective when we live with compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness. Forgiveness liberates the soul and opens the way to peace. As you embody compassion for yourself and others, you become a role model of possibility. You also deepen your relationship with the Earth and its beings, stepping into co-creation with love and respect.

8. Love (The Ultimate Gift)
Love is the greatest gift of all. To love more is to tap into the ever-present wellspring of Love within and around you. Love asks you to be fully present with what lights you up – the people, passions, and places that expand your heart. Though Love is simple to say, it is a daily practice to embody. The more you align with Love, the more joy and freedom you experience.

The 8 Principles of Transformation

Introduction

By Shajen Joy Aziz, M.Ed., M.A.

Transformation is not something that happens to us, rather, it is something that awakens within us. It begins in a single moment, a pause, a breath… a realization that life is inviting us to evolve. When we choose to listen to that invitation, we step into a partnership with our own soul.

We are each born with gifts, with wisdom, with a deep inner knowing that whispers, “There is more for you. You are meant to expand.” The path of transformation is not about becoming someone else it is about remembering who you truly are. It is about releasing what no longer serves you and embracing the infinite possibilities waiting for you.

These 8 Principles of Transformation are here to guide you, support you, and mirror back to you the truth of your strength, resilience, and brilliance. They are living teachings, ones that have helped me navigate my own life’s challenges, overcome heartbreak, trust my inner voice, and step more fully into my purpose.

I invite you to move through these principles with an open heart and a curious mind. Let them meet you exactly where you are. Let them stretch you, comfort you, and expand your capacity to love, and especially love for yourself.

This is your time.
Your transformation is already underway.
And every small shift counts.

Welcome to the journey of becoming more you.
A journey of presence.
A journey of freedom.
A journey of joy.

The 8 Principles of Transformation

By Shajen Joy Aziz, M.Ed., M.A.
Award-Winning Educator • #1 International Best-Selling Author • Transformational Leader


—

1. Receptivity & Flexibility

Transformation begins with openness. The truth is, new possibilities are unfolding around us every day, yet we do not always notice them because we are not receptive. When you choose receptivity, you learn to listen to your soul, your inner Source, and allow insights to enter your heart and mind. In this openness, you invite miracles into your life.


—

2. Intention & Attention

Intention is a declaration, a conscious choice to live aligned with your deeper purpose. It is an act of will that frees you from limiting beliefs, habits, and patterns. When you set an intention, you define a new destination and begin to feel as though you have already arrived. Attention then becomes your guiding energy, keeping you present and aligned with your purpose.


—

3. Activation

Activation is where you bring your receptivity and intention to life. It requires you to engage actively in your personal growth, aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your new purpose. Old patterns may surface, but here you learn to recondition them, choosing to move forward with focus and clarity toward your highest potential.


—

4. Infinite Feedback

The universe is constantly mirroring who you are being. Every choice, action, and thought sends ripples of energy into the world, and the feedback you receive reflects your vibration. By aligning your heart and mind with presence, you co-create with the universe in a continuous loop of energy and transformation.


—

5. Vibration

Your vibration, and the energy you emit, shapes your entire life experience. When you choose joy, gratitude, and fulfillment, you raise your frequency and shift the reality around you. By tuning into higher vibrations, you improve your communication, express yourself with clarity, and radiate your authentic truth.


—

6. Adversity & Transformation

Adversity is not a barrier, it is a doorway. Each challenge you face holds a hidden gift, waiting to be discovered. Transformation occurs when you respond with adaptability, curiosity, and courage. In doing so, you uncover freedom and strength in the very places you once felt broken.


—

7. Creating a Conscious & Compassionate World

Transformation becomes collective when we live with compassion and forgiveness. Forgiveness liberates the soul and opens the way to peace. As you embody compassion for yourself and others, you become a role model of possibility. You also deepen your relationship with the Earth and its beings, stepping into co-creation with love and respect.


—

8. Love (The Ultimate Gift)

Love is the greatest gift of all. To love more is to tap into the ever-present wellspring of Love within and around you. Love asks you to be fully present with what lights you up, and with the people, passions, and places that expand your heart. Though Love is simple to say, it is a daily practice to embody. The more you align with Love, the more joy and freedom you experience.


—

Final Reflections

Be grateful for roadblocks and detours. They are sacred redirections, protecting you from people and experiences not meant for your journey.

Do not take on the blame of others; it belongs to them. Hold your boundaries with patience and compassion.

I used to feel sorrow when things did not unfold as I had imagined. Over time, I came to understand that detours are blessings, leading me to gifts I never could have envisioned.

Choices are powerful. Each moment is an opportunity to align with your intentions and design your future. Be present. You are worth it. Leave the past where it belongs, and know it is history.

Your transformation is already in motion. You are capable, you are worthy, and you are free.


♡♡

Shajen Joy

Shajenjoy@gmail.com

Now is the Perfect Time

As the holidays arrive and a new year approaches, pause for a moment and breathe. Now is a perfect time to take stock of your intentions, your growth, your purpose, and the things that truly bring you joy.

Life is shaped by the choices we make and the people we welcome into our lives. Choices are powerful. Examine yours. Examine your why. And look forward to all that is waiting for you.

Now is the time to release the chatter of what others think you should do and step fully into who you are, and into the passions that light you up, the dreams that inspire you, and the experiences that make you come alive.

When you choose joy, when you allow fun and fulfillment into your life, everything becomes more graceful. You become a magnet for what you desire, and for blessings greater than you can even imagine.

May you be deeply blessed today, and every day that follows.
May your heart feel full. May your path feel clear.


May joy lead the way into all your tomorrows.

Much love,

Shajen Joy Aziz

Life is both Science and Spirit

Being alive is a special occasion.

To breathe, to witness, to participate in the miraculous dance of existence is a privilege we often forget to honor. Yet, here we are surrounded by the quiet brilliance of nature, the wisdom of sentient beings, the subtle energies that move through and between us, and the ever-expanding mysteries revealed through quantum understanding.

Life is both science and spirit, ritual and revelation.

It is love made visible through connection.
It is meaning taking shape in the everyday moments we so often overlook.

When we allow ourselves to sit fully in the depth of it all the beauty, the wonder, the intelligence woven into every cell and every breath we remember that being alive is not something to rush past. It is something to savor, to celebrate, to bow to.

Living is the ceremony.
Love is the doorway.
Awareness is the gift.

And today, may you feel the sacredness of simply being here awake, connected, and part of this extraordinary tapestry of life.

♡♡ Shajen Joy Aziz, M.Ed., M.A.

Today is a good day.